Sunday, May 30, 2010

How Do You Find Your Style?

I have found myself artistically drifting over the years. I have always loved crafting and art since a very young age. When I was 8 or 9, I found an Alcoa aluminum foil crafting book on the family bookshelf. Since we didn't have extra money, I would craft with whatever I could find around the house. This Alcoa book was a godsend! I would sneak tiny pieces of foil and make the crafts that I found in the book. I also remember making Barbie clothes from scraps of fabric that my mom had laying around. I think I was born into being creative!

When I was pregnant with my first baby, my husband bought me a sewing machine! I spent the next 8-9 years doing all things with fabric! I quilted, made clothing and whatever other craft I could think of. I also did a bunch of counted cross stitch! After my divorce, I moved into glass crafting. I learned stained glass and then bought a kiln and learned how to fuse glass. That somehow morphed into paper crafting. I spent several years making rubber stamped cards and scrapbooking. My latest endeavor is painting and art journaling. With each new craft comes bunches of new supplies which are now taking over the house! I no longer sew and I haven't touched glass in months, yet the fabric is filling the basement and the glass is filling a room upstairs! My hope is that someday, I will be able to combine all of my crafting/art into one really cool product!

My question to you: do you tend to work on just one thing or do you like to learn and "evolve"? Is there value in going from one craft to another or am I just being flighty? When do I give up on one craft and start destshing???

Saturday, May 29, 2010


I'm back home from my trip to Hawaii and life has decided to throw me yet another curve! I wasn't home for more than 12 hours and I ended up with the worse stomach bug that I have ever had! I actually ended up in the hospital for 3 days! It took another week to totally get over the bug. Yesterday, I went to the pain clinic for my first diagnostic treatment and ended up being in terrible pain for the rest of the day! So, I'm thinking that life has been beating me down for a really good reason. You heard the old sayings "God only gives you what you can handle" and "You learn the most through adversity"

Things I have learned:
1. I have to treat my body gently. I only have one and it has to last me a long time. I have to start eating well and exercising when I am able.
2. Sitting on the couch watching TV will not make me better, it only makes me depressed.
3. I have to force myself to get up and do SOMETHING.
4. I have really great friends and sisters.
5. I need to be more patient with my mom when she isn't feeling well. She can't help it and probably is not doing it for attention like I have thought in the past.
6. It is no fun to sit at home alone and feel crappy alone. I have to remember that and try to be a better friend, sister and daughter when others are feeling crappy.
7. Art is a great doctor and nurse!
8. Stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on feeling positive and better!
9. Focus on what makes me happy. I cannot expect other people to make me feel happy. That is my responsibility.

Sorry that my posts are not as witty and fun as some other blogs. But the most important thing that I have learned is that art can be just for me. I can draw, paint or write stuff just for me! I don't have to worry about what other people think. The more I do, the better I will get and if I only do what I think other people will like, then I am limiting myself and my growth. Just DO.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

It All Starts Here

Today I go back home... to "reality" whatever that is! I feel so relaxed and well... happy right now. I feel peace. When I get home, I don't want to lose this feeling. I don't want to get so caught up, that I lose ME again. Right now, I don't feel the pain that I came with. My back is completely relaxed, well a little sunburned as well, but pain-free none-the-less. I wish I could bottle the energy and spirit that I feel here and bring it home with me. I purchased a Hawaiian slack key guitar CD that hopefully will bring back the feeling whenever I need it. I also have pictures and souvenirs, a sun burn and sand in my shoes. I did get freaked out enough that I emptied the black sand out of my shoes so I won't take it off the islands. Taking stones or lava from the islands is supposed to bring very bad luck!

This morning on the way back from breakfast, a beautiful rainbow formed over the beach. That was my sign that it all begins today. Everything will be ok. I will be Ok. I have the blessing from the Hawaiian spirits.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Reasons to Be Happy

As I explained in my earlier post, things have not exactly been going my way the last year. Happiness hasn't exactly been easy to find lately. I thought that just by being here in Hawaii, that I would be instantly happy. Imagine my surprise when I got here and realized that I am still not happy. WHAT? Seriously?? I mean, it's good. I'm content. I'm not stressed. My body seems to be healing somewhat. But I don't have that euphoric feeling that I should have! What am I doing wrong? I have been thinking about how blessed that I am. I am here! This is my third trip to Hawaii. I know that so many people only dream of coming here and I booked this trip on a whim just 2 weeks ago. How many people get to do that??? So, what is wrong with me? What am I missing?

I was walking back from the beach this morning and went into a little shop that had wonderfully hand-made beach themed items. This little book caught my eye and I had to have it! It is called "How To Be Happy" by Sandy Gingras. The book is full on wonderful little illustrations and words of wisdom on how to find joy in everyday life.

"smiley smells"
Choclate chip cookies baking
butter melting
roasted garlic
a new-mown lawn

when he calls just to hear the sound of your voice
an afternoon nap on the couch

It is a small little book, but sometimes smiles come in small packages. Maybe I need to take a clue from her and realize that I don't have to travel half way around the world in search of happiness. Maybe it is in my backyard and I just didn't see it.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Return to Hawaii

Wow! What has it been? Almost a year since I updated my blog? I guess I haven't had much to say. Until now. I am in Hawaii right now. This is a healing trip for me. So much has happened in the last year, most of it not good. I have had a bunch of health problems that I am still dealing with as well as some emotional "downs". I feel like the past year has eaten me up and spit me back out again, all digested. This brings me to Hawaii. Why Hawaii? And why so far away... alone?

If you have never been here, let me explain. If you have been here... then you already know. Hawaii has an incredible spirit. When I was here 3 years ago, I stepped off the plane and instantly felt at home even though it had been 18 years since I had been here last. Everything was so familar. I instantly knew my way around, I could point out landmarks and knew the history. It was like I never left. This land resonates in my soul. I cried when I got on the plane to go home. I have been dreaming, planning and NEEDING to come back ever since. So here I am. I need to get the spirit back into my soul. I need life to be brought back to me. If any one place can heal me... this is it. If this doesn't heal me, then there is no need to go on, as nothing will.

So I begin my journey back to health, back to life. I need to fill my soul so that it is swelling with the spirit here. Someday, I will return again and I will stay.